Happy Days 30

I figured that by the rate I'm doing I wont be able to meet the goal for the month so I decided to change it up a little bit.
You see, I see quite a few of my friends doing this 100 happy days and I kind of think that is cool, except that I don't think i could be able to last up to 100. Not because I don't have enough happy moments but because I see 100 as overwhelming and I figure I would quit by the time I reach day 20. But that does not mean that I want to do it, in fact I will do it right now, except that I would only be doing this for 30 days, and that I would want to write a boring piece essay for each of it rather than a picture.

The reason is that despite the saying that a picture is worth a thousand words, that also means that it is worth a thousand interpretations, and I want my own reasons to be specific. No need to interpret or misinterpret. I want to tell everyone what I really feel. Especially to myself. I want to be honest to myself. This, and I think that, while on a walking reflection this day (I sort of have my few great thoughts while walking. I am just thankful that I didn't forget this one), I thought to myself, maybe, the way I want to do this is, in a manner assuming my death in the near future. Of course I dont want to die and in fact I want to live for a hundred years more if my body would allow it, but then the possibility of dying is always a strong thought for me. Especially now that my close friends, not just one, but two of them already died. No one would have thought that to happen. So then I really have to consider myself not an exception to this early rule.

I think that, given my death i would count on at least a few people that would be sad for my death. I am hoping for this of course, because the way I see it as long as I don't get genuinely evil like the people in the unrealistic telenovelas, there would be at least one or two persons who would genuinely miss me, and would only remember the good things I did. For this reason I write for these one or two persons. I mean, if ever the far possibility of my death really happened, they would think of and mention a lot of things that they found good in me, and well, I think that it would just be a few given I didn't live that much long to create an impact, and eventually that would be repeated on and on like a broken record, and they would get tired and someday, they will forget about it and I would be just a distant memory. But then I think if I die I really wouldn't care if people forget about me. As long as these people don't. and I want to at least help them remember the things that I did do, and share with them the things that I like instead of them guessing about it. I know that this is quite deep but then what do you expect from a thought that I got from my thoughts while walking from church?

The way I see it, me being a Catholic and still wanting to implement the 40　days tradition, I would give them about 10 days to mourn about my death, bu then on the 11th day they can start reading my 30 days essay and by the 40th day I would be as I believe in heaven. And the loved ones I have would at least have this thing to hold on to, and find reasons to be happy themselves. Anyway, I just pray that this time I would really find time for this even in my depression times.