Days 26

This day may be the worse day yet.

You know those days when everything around you just doesnt go your way? I've had the same experience of it today. While I always pray that everyday would be a great day, there is always that day when you feel that God just took a break on you and wouldnt listen to yoir needs, and allows you to suffer through that day. I know that wasnt his intention but then I cant help but feel that way after today. 

To start the morning, I woke up an hour late just because we had a bad night with my grandmother in the hospital. Then I couldnt find a tricycle just in time, making me walk a couple hundred meters before I finally got one. That took a toll because it made me miss the last bus, making me on my own to look for any chance of a ride. After what seemed like half an hour, I was desperate enough to get on a very full bus, and I had to stand all the way all the while looking at the men who because of the hardships in life seemed to have forgotten the ways of the gentlemen. I dont blame them but still there are times when you really wish that there are still people out there who would offer a seat to an awkward looking girl. It turns out that this bus was too slow and was caught on by the traffic high on steriods because of the start of classes, reminding me why I hated school years in the first place. And on top of that from the moment I boarded the bus, it seemed to stop at every possible stop imaginable. I had a really hurt knee at the end of the ride, honestly. And they seemed to get the slowest lanes and deliberately not pass on expresslanes just so they can get more passengers. And well, just when I thought I already had it bad, some traffic enforcer catches us and makes a heated argument with the driver. That cost us another thirty minutes in addition to the whole hour we lost due to traffic. 

When I got to the office, I thought that the bad luck nds. Turns out the document I worked hard on yesterday crashed, and I had to redo the whole thing. Causing me four hours of wasted time. When I got home, I was still standing on the bus for a good long hour. When I finally was able to sit down, traffic caught up. I feel asleep and missed my stop. Then I find the house totally locked in and I got no keys. Fortunately I was able to 'do something about it'. And then, to make matters worse, my favorite team lost the game making them stuck in the bottom four.  

I guess, there really are times like this when you feel like you want to ask why this is happening. People who dont understand it just tell you its part of life, but then at this moment I really hate this life. I do know that once I recover from this things would go for the better. I hope so. For now, this is probably one of the things that I could not understand. One of the things that I want to get angry at God for (But I wouldnt) and things that make me question if things would really go for the better. 

At the end of the day, the more important things remain. I am still alive. In fact, all of my family members present are still alive (except dad, but well). I have my health, I have another day to live. Maybe things will be for the better. I have a chance to take revenge on what this day gave to me, and I'kk be sure to make it pay back twice the amount it owes me. While I type this, I see my cat cleaning away, and it calms me down. Just the fact that I can enjoy these things makes me thankful sometimes. All is not lost. Maybe, this is another challenge for me, and I imagine myself going home, crying to The Lord, telling about how bad my day is, and him laughing it off and just hugging me. Maybe patting me on the back and still allowing me to vent out my frustrations. And even at all of this he would give me the strength I need. He gives me my comfort food, listens to me kindly, tells me that I was such a brave girl to be able to handle it without breaking down. Those things are some of the moments I treasure. Finally, before we end our talk he would give me a nudge and say an encouraging word or two. That, I can do it next time, and that he is rooting for me and is there with me always. I smile and get excited for the next day, where I can finally get back and do my best, knowing that he is always there for me.