Days 30

Finally! It's the last day of the challenge. I was afraid I wouldnt make it at first, as I have a tendency to quit in the middle of things. But I'm so happy that I persisted. And anyway, this feels like i am about to conquer the last boss in a quest. But yeah, after the final boss you have to look for another place, explore it and beat the boss again in that level. It is just so fulfilling to have some kind of sign thatyou are actually doing things and finishing it.

What I learned in this challenge is that it doesnt has to be formal, or planned. Most of the time I just write what I want to write and it was what has sustained me in over the 30 days. There were times when I couldnt think of anything to write but would just go along writing anyway. There were times when I didnt write at all. Despite this, after another day I push myself to continue writing. 

Back then, things have to be planned, what I have to say has to have a background, an  outline. And then, when I am about to say it, I have to think about what others would say. I would write and in the middle of it I would realize that it wasnt worth it and would quit before I could even publish a thing.

What I learned from this 30 day challenge is that it doesnt matter what I write as long as I do write. Because at the end of the day, the most important opinion I would ever take account is mine, as well as God's. Besides, with the amount of traffic I am getting I am probably the only person who would be able to read through all of this anyway. And even if they do, what would they care. It's not as if they can mine a lot from this and use it to blackmail me in the future. And even if they do, I know that half of the people wont care anyway. There are a lot of more worthwhile things to do than stalk and blackmail people. I know that from experience.

So then, this whole realization freed me from being too conscious on what to write. Despite the social media suddenly getting crazy on whatever person's opinions are, the attention span is only at most a month. The majority even forget within a week. Like, the viral videos they featured in the news last year was already long forgotten by the social media. These things are reassuring. No matter how much you mess up, sooner or later it would just be forgotten and everyone would just move on with their lives. What really matters is how long you would forget, and move on into bigger and better things, learning from the mistakes of the past and getting ready to what the future promises to have. One day I will be successful. But I guess even then I imagine myself writing to my heart's content.